The American Film Academy Awards – Creative Writing Exercise #13

by Laura Lai/Uncategorized

Every month the Australian Writers’ Centre organizes a creative writing competition called ‘Furious Fiction’. It is a 55-hour, 500-word and 500-dollar win competition based on some precise requirements. Last month’s requirements were:

• Your story must include a character who’s a GUARD.
• Your story must include the words NARROW, GOLDEN, LEATHERY and GLOSSY.
• Your story’s first and last sentences must each contain just TWO WORDS.

 This is the text I submitted. Enjoy!

THE AMERICAN FILM ACADEMY AWARDS

‘Oh, lala! Tonight is the big night. I’m nervous. Some may say that I’m nervous about since my golden and glossy conception. They wouldn’t be too wrong. I’m always brought in in a safe box. And I never see the flashes. I’m actually hold tied and taken pictures later in the night. The organizers treat me nice every year. Only if I could tell you how gently they put me on this table, where it seems that I’m not alone…’

‘Hi, there! I’m ‘Joker’! Who are you?’

‘The Irishman!’

‘Nice… . And you?’

‘I’m ‘JoJo Rabbit’. Nice to meet you!’

‘Nice to meet you, too’, I replied happily.

‘We are the ‘Little Women’.

‘And you must be…’

‘The Two Popes!’

‘No kidding! We’ll get a tattoo tonight!’ I told them, although they didn’t look too scared.

‘So what?’ they replied to me. ‘This will not stop us to enjoy afterwards ‘A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.’

‘Right! Like old times in Hollywood!’ The truth is that I didn’t really know what to say. ‘And who are you?’ I asked a similarly golden little thing, but less glossy than all of us.

‘I’m ‘Parasite’. Nice to meet you all.’

‘What’s that dust on you?’

‘Oh, that’s from ‘1917’.

‘Don’t worry!’ I said. ‘I also live in ‘Pain & Glory’ myself, at ‘The Edge of Democracy’, have learned to write ‘Toy Stories’, ‘I Lost My Body’ in an ‘American Factory’ and I’ll probably end up in a narrow ‘Cave’ or in a darken basement after tonight like ‘Les Miserables’.’

‘Why tonight?!’ I’ve been asked by an unknown. ‘I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m ‘Klaus’. Why tonight? That guard sitting on a leathery quilted chair and armed with a Kalashnikov seem to keep a good eye on us?’

‘Tonight is the night when each of us will be taken by somebody. Some of them take two of us. And we will remember our little chat as ‘Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood’.

‘Very funny!’ said ‘Jojo Rabbit’.

‘Come on! It starts. It was very nice meeting you all. The Film Academy Awards begins. The Oscars!!!